The Simple Solution Is Never Simple
by pupeez4eva
Summary: The team won't believe that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but Robin has the perfect solution. After all, they'd HAVE to believe him if Batman took the cowl off, right? …Wrong. Sequel to "The (Attempted) Big Reveal."


**AN:**

 **This is a sequel to the fic I wrote earlier this week, "The (Attempted) Big Reveal." I guess you don't have to read that one to understand this - basically, Robin told the team he was Dick Grayson, but they refused to believe that Bruce Wayne was Batman (and came up with a number of bizarre theories about who could be).**

 **Hope you enjoy this! :)**

 **...**

The moment Bruce entered the manor, Dick bounded over to him. His eyes were wide and desperate. Bruce paused and stared at him, his eyebrows raising in alarm.

"Dick?" he inquired, worry in his voice.

"Bruce, the team don't believe me!" Dick sounded so distressed, that it took all of Bruce's power not to pull him into a hug. Or ask Alfred to give him cookies — cookies always seemed to cheer him up.

(Basically anything that allowed him to avoid using actual words).

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Dick scowled. "I told the team who I was," he replied. Bruce's eyebrows raised in surprise. Dick had been begging him for permission to reveal his identity for weeks; he sure as hell hadn't expected _this._

"You don't seem very happy about it," he said, staring cautiously at his adopted son.

"I'm not!" Dick snapped. "Because they didn't believe me!"

Bruce stared. "They…didn't believe that you're Dick Grayson?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Oh, they believed _that,_ _"_ he snorted. "Apparently it makes sense that I'm a 'nerdy mathlete.'"

Bruce had to bite back a smile at that.

"But — they didn't believe that _you_ were Bruce Wayne!" Dick sounded incredulous. Bruce, however, wasn't even surprised. He'd had experience with this before, after all, and it had _not_ been an enjoyable experience.

"I suppose it might take…time for them to wrap their heads around it." _'_ _Lots and lots of time._ _'_

Bruce fought the urge to glare sullenly at the floor. This was bringing up memories — embarrassing memories — that he would rather not remember, than you very much.

"I don't have time," Dick retorted. "Do you know what they think, Bruce? They think that I don't know who Batman is!" He let out an incredulous laugh. "They think that I don't know the identity of my _own_ _mentor!_ _"_

Bruce placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"But I have a solution," Dick continued, a hint of excitement slipping into his voice. "The next time you're at the cave, take off your cowl. When they see that you're Bruce Wayne, they _can_ _'_ _t_ deny it."

Bruce grimaced.

"What?" Dick paused his stride, and stared at Bruce, his brow creased in concern. "You don't think it'd work?"

"Not…quite." Bruce stared at his son's face for a long moment, and let out a small sigh. "You see…taking off the cowl seems like a good idea, in theory, but you're not accounting for one thing."

"What?" Dick asked, frowning.

"If the members of your team are anything like their mentors, they are _fucking delusional._ _"_

" _Master Bruce!"_

Bruce jumped, and shot Alfred an apologetic look.

"Sorry Alfred," he said. Maybe it wasn't too late to save his weekly cookie supply. After all, the disapproving glare hadn't appeared yet…

…No, there it was. _Dammit._

"What are you talking about?" Dick asked, a mixture of confused, and incredulous (after all, Bruce didn't often use such…colourful language in front of him).

"Dick," Bruce sighed (making a point to avoid Alfred's pointed stare), "sit down. Let me tell you a story."

Dick flung his arms in the air. "But I don't understand why you can't just _take the cowl off."_

"You'll understand soon," Bruce told him grimly. "You see, I too thought that revealing my identity would be a simple process. I'd thought — _I'll just take off my cowl and that will be that_." His gaze darkened, and his fists clenched at his side. "I didn't realise how wrong I was…"

…

His fellow League members all wore matching expressions of shock and disbelief, and Bruce couldn't help but feel a stir of satisfaction. There was also a sense of relief — after keeping his identity secret for so long, he'd finally revealed himself. He'd been so sure he'd come to regret it, but so far, he felt calm. And the fact that everyone was so incredulous…well, Bruce had to bite back a smirk of amusement.

(He should have realised then that it was all too easy. Nothing was _ever_ that easy).

"…Bruce Wayne?" Clark choked, his eyes wide.

"Yes," Bruce replied calmly. "And close your mouth Clark, you look like an idiot."

" _Bruce Wayne?"_ Clark repeated. Bruce opened his mouth, preparing to repeat his previous statement — maybe with a, _"Clark, for godsake,"_ thrown in for good measure — when he realised that something was off. It was those stares…sure there was shock, and disbelief, but there was also…fear?

Why the hell were they afraid of _Bruce Wayne?_

(And what hope did this world have if it's greatest heroes were petrified of an air-headed, billionaire playboy?).

Bruce soon received his answer.

"Mr. Wayne," Barry choked, taking a shaky step forward. For the Flash, he was being awfully slow at the moment. And also, what was _with_ the 'Mr. Wayne'? _"_ _Where_ did you find that suit?"

Bruce blinked. _'…_ _What?_ _'_

"I'm…sorry?" he asked, squinting in confusion.

"Oh my god, I knew you were fucking crazy but — _Jesus!_ _"_ Oliver shook his head, eyeing him in disbelief. "Are you _insane?_ He is going to _kill_ you when he finds out!"

Bruce felt his jaw drop. No — _surely_ not…?

"Batman doesn't kill," Diana murmured.

"Yeah, well I doubt he's used to random people going around and stealing his suit!" Oliver retorted. "I mean — how the hell did you do it? No offense or anything, but I always thought you were a bit of an idiot."

"I didn't _steal_ the suit!" Bruce snarled. "It's _my_ suit, because _I_ _'_ _m Batman._ _"_

There were a series of snorts.

"Oh _sure,_ _"_ laughed Hal. "And I'm Wonder Woman."

Diana shot him an affronted glare.

"How did you even get it?" Barry asked, his brow furrowed. "Did you somehow find the Bat-cave…?"

"Maybe Batman forgot his suit," Oliver piped in. "…Dropped it in the middle of Gotham of…something…"

"I bet it's his Butler," Clark murmured. "That man can _glare_ _—_ the Daily Planet was covering one of Wayne's parties, and let me tell you — "

Alright — _that_ was the last straw.

"Are you…absolute… _idiots?!_ _"_ Bruce snarled. "You _honestly_ believe that I somehow managed to find Batman's suit, steal it from under his nose, teleport to the Watchtower, imitate Batman perfectly, and trick all off you into thinking I was Batman _for_ _hours?!_ _"_

They stared at him blankly.

"…Makes more sense than _Bruce Wayne_ being _Batman,_ _"_ Hal replied at last.

Oh god, he was done. He was _done._

"You know," Barry murmured, thoughtfully, "I think he's telling the truth — he _didn_ _'_ _t_ steal the suit."

 _Oh Hallelujah_! There was hope for this world. _Someone_ in this room had an _ounce_ of common sense —

" — I bet that Batman wasn't ready to tell us his identity, so he _gave_ Bruce Wayne the suit to trick us into thinking that _he_ was Batman!"

Bruce's eye twitched.

There were a series of appreciative noises.

"Yeah, that makes sense!" Oliver agreed, nodding enthusiastically. _'_ _NO, it DOESN_ _'_ _T dammit!_ _'_ "He must have taught him to imitate him perfectly…wow Wayne, you're not as dumb as I thought you were. Again, no offense."

"It must be the Butler, like Clark said," Hal murmured. "I mean, it makes sense — "

In that moment, Bruce considered his options. He could beat them all to a bloody pulp; he could hand in his resignation and _get the hell out of there;_ he could find the nearest wall, and bang his head against it repeatedly, until things started making sense again...

Instead he shot them his best bat-glare, and stalked out of the room.

…

"…They excepted it…eventually." Bruce bit back a scowl, and tried to look comforting. "Give it some time — the team will come around."

Dick stared at him, his mouth hanging open. "…You're _kidding,_ _"_ he choked.

"No," Bruce sighed, "I'm not."

"… _Why?!_ _"_

"I don't know, Dick," Bruce replied, shaking his head. "And I'm not sure I want to."

Dick sighed, his shoulders slumping. He stared forlornly at the floor.

There was a moment of silence.

"…Why do they always think it's Alfred?" Dick murmured, his brow furrowing slightly.

Bruce's eyebrows raised. "Your team too?" Oh who was he kidding, of _course_ they'd thought that. "It's not that much of a stretch — Alfred can be pretty terrifying when he wants to be."

Dick cocked his head to the side, considering this, before shrugging, and nodding his head.


End file.
